the king
by Vampire Priest
Summary: This story begins with Robin stressing about thousands of suits of armor at every street corner. After having called for a meeting the man who placed the suits of armor around town explains the situation. And this will probably be offensive to democrats. Don't say I didn't warn you!
1. new friends

disclaimer: I do not own teen titans if I did this story would be an episode

AN: the OC in the story is one about a character based on me that I've been thinking about for seven years. I know he rips off tons of characters from other T.V. serieses and it's intentional don't remind me of something I'm fully aware of

rated M for language, TFS references, and possible frigg

* * *

Chapter 1: New friends

* * *

( Robin's p.o.v. )

Today me and the rest of the titans were getting creeped out. We kept seeing these strange statutes standing at every corner. It's not a crime but it's creeping me out.

Robin: Titans no doubt you've seen those creepy purple statutes around town.

Raven: their everywhere

Cyborg: super weird

Srarfire: on occasion I see one standing next to the giant heavy cross and people try to lift the cross "first to lift gets the money" I hear people say

Beastboy: I saw that one to I think it was watching me it's head turned but when I went to see who was in there the cross was gone and the head stopped moving

Robin: well all in favor of checking it out

All the titans: I

X: now hold on you wouldn't be looking for me now

We all turned around and saw one of the statues standing next to a giant cross

X: I might have left a few suits of armor laying around could you be so kind as to let me crash here for tonight.

We stood there not moving still surprised he could talk

X: hello anybody home

Robin: uh you can talk

X: oh I can do much more than that

We watched as he threw his arms out as if asking for a hug then we saw the suit of armor open on it's own and a suited man stepped out his wings now visible to the team tall black top hat polarised shades and black bandana to cover his mouth he wore a suit blacker than pitch with a shirt of the brightest white and a blood red tie. he has an afro half covered by his hat yet still covering his ears

X: allow me to introduce my self. I am Afro Mexican X and I was just passing by when I saw that you needed more decisions around town. Oh and did I mention that I wanted to stay the night.

Robin: uh...

X: CAN I STAY HERE OR NOT

Robin: sure

(X's P.O.V.)

I walked up to my armor pulled out a glass tube 2 inches in diameter 6 inches long than pulled out a giant syringe and put the tube in the syringe pulled up my sleeve and grabbed my silver sword, specifically designed for me made in Japan, and made a cut into my arm long ways and put the needle inside of the cut

Raven: what are you doing

X: this blade is one of the only blades that can pierce my skin (I held the needle in place until the skin in my arm healed around it then pushed all the green liquid into my arm then put the needle back out)

Cyborg: why did you do that

X: it's how I stay mortal and powerful

Raven: why would you want to be mortal

X: an eternal life with no one to share it with is no life for me. now were is, well everything can I get a tour I usually live in a castle not titans tower

Star: we'll give you a tour

we flew around the tower and I got a tour told them a little about myself and then they gave me my own room and we could see this was a start of a great friendship I had my armor on Raven and Star were talking about all the great times they had


	2. Friendly little letters

Chapter 2 friendly little letters

The next morning

(authors p.o.v.)

X: Rae your dad keeps sending me these "friendly little letters"

Raven reads the letter which says,

Dear Cheif replacement,

I wanted to send you this friendly little later to inform you of your imminent demise.

If you're curious about the frequency of which I've sent these letters, it is merely to instill as much fear as I can. As if basting a turkey. Which I will then proceeded to have sex with.

That's right.

I'm going toFUCK the fear turkey.

Follow me theCrimsonFucker!

...Sincerely Trigon

Raven: why does my father want you dead

X: probably because you told him I declined your offer to fuck

Raven: oh that

X: I said no and I mean it, no amount of not threatening death threats will change that

Raven: well maybe you should, wait your not afraid

X: I don't feel fear, it's not my thing

Raven: how can you not be afraid

X: I just don't see the point to being afraid it's just an inconvenience besides r what is there to fear my silver cross necklace protects against all magic,besides it's just one of one thousand letters sent by carrier pigeon

Raven: my father sent you letters by carrier pigeon

X: it's like he's not even trying to be threatening

Raven: to answer your question you have death to fear he doesn't need magic to kill

X: ah. If only I feared death I'm pretty sure you know that I'm a Christian I make it perfectly clear each day that I'm a minister of the word of God

Raven: that doesn't explain why you don't fear death

X: I don't think you fully comprehend what I'm trying to say here, not only do I not fear death I also don't morn the dead,because I believe in God, I am never afraid it's pointless death is inevitable everyone will die and go to either heaven or hell everyone has a choice of which one they're going to some make a conscious effort to go to help others don't realize what they're doing everyone has a choice I'm glad I made the right one

Raven: that's deep

X: your father may be strong but through my faith I am stronger

Raven: you don't understand my dad can crush mountains

X: muscle may be able to move mountains but faith can lift an entire civilization

X leaves to go to the kitchen and pours a cup of coffee into a mug with a bag of black tea in it and drank it. Raven looks at him disgusted by his ability to mix tea and coffee and actually drink it. X saw Raven and Star staring so he invited them both to get coffee with him at the exact same time. They each grabbed one of his arms and walked out arm in arm with him slightly pulling to get him closer to their side of the elevator. When they got to the coffee shop X had finished his coffee and was dressed in full body armor swords and all.

X: guys you need to stop fighting over me.

Raven: I was wondering when you would choose.

Star: who have you chosen

X: yeah about that can my girlfriend move into titans tower too she can change into a cat and back to a person but that's all that she can do

Raven/Star:(heartbroken in unison) why can't you choose me

X: first Rae your half demon and I'm a Christian second Star you're an alien and I have no idea how your reproductive organs work besides I was dating before I came, what did you expect me to come to the titans without having lived a life worth living before I came

Raven: yeah

X: you and Beastboy would make a cute couple

Raven: (slightly embarrassed) what makes you say that

Star: ooo she wants to date him

X: and you want to date Robin

Star: (slightly embarrassed as well) no we are just friends

Raven: ha you do

X: well looks like I solved everyone's problems I'm going to go get my girlfriend

X leaves to get his girlfriend and the girls go home and tell the team At titan tower

Robin: no no no no no no we don't know if he's good or not yet

Star: he suggested that we date

Robin: like I was saying he's a Christian of course he's a good guy

X: hey guys you talking about me

Robin and Cyborg stare at the cat in his hands

Robin: you're dating a cat

X: not quite

Robin: X your not making any sense

X: she's a half cat girl

The Team watched as the cat changes into an Asian girl

Kitty: hey guys I'm X's girlfriend and he calls me Kitty on account of my powers

Robin: which reminds me X what are your powers

X: I have the ability to grant any wish I make also I'm making dinner tonight if that's ok with everyone

The titans: sure

X: wonderful

Until it was time for X to start dinner he and the titans went on three different missions that day and came home to noodles for dinner

Robin: uh X we were expecting pizza or waffles

X: you eat pizza and waffles every day it's time for some new experiences, also were eating with chopsticks

Robin: I've never eaten with chopsticks before

X: duh were having new experiences now everyone this is plain noodle soup feel free to add anything I placed at the center of the table

Raven: you actually cooked us dinner instead of buying fast food or pizza I like that

X: Rae I already told you I'm not going out with you

Kitty: Rae he's ma man stop flirting with him

Star: what is the chopsticks

X: it's the utensils used in some of not all Asian countries

Everyone got seated, X opened up a briefcase containing golden plates, bowls, and utensils, X passed out plates and bowls X removed his armor and passed out golden chopsticks

Robin: I've never eaten anything with gold before

X: it adds something I just can't explain

Raven: it makes you feel rich?

X: no I feel rich all the time it's just kinda... you'll know it when you eat it

The Team enjoyed their soup and when to bed wondering what that taste was


	3. church

Chapter 6 the coffin part two

Robin looked at the king confused by his statement, "A coffin? Really!? Why a coffin? Why can't you get it? Why send us?" X whilst watching the hilarious parody laughed at the T.V. and answered his question. "I'm sending you because I have work to do, such as replacing the cure for vampirism you foolishly disposed of."

"But why a coffin?"

"because you got rid of my cure I need to sleep in a coffin that's bound by chains so that I don't devour each and every one of you. When the time comes for the cure to be administered my androids will do it so that nobody gets hurt or killed."

"So we don't have a choice, but wait why can't you build another?"

"It took me fifty years to find the parts of the coffin necessary so that it would be airtight, indestructible, and keep me from teleporting out. Nothing goes in or out without this key." X held up his cross necklace and showed them that the design on the silver cross was unlike any other. "Oh and in my absence I need someone to keep the world from falling into anarchy and sign off any legal documents that have new laws that came from the bible with reference to the exact book, chapter, and verse written as a way of checking, and make sure to check my bible because I translated it myself directly from the language it was written in to Latin. Everyone in my staff can read Latin and they've all been issued a copy. Those are the job requirements anyone up for the challenge of being me for a day." Everyone looked at Victor as if he was most qualified so he said, "what are you all looking at me for." Robin was the first to answer "you are the Christian here and if you don't speak Latin you can probably ask one of the androids to read his bible to you" Starfire continued his statement, "We think you would have the easiest of times understanding such an old book" Raven made her case. "I can't touch the walls or floors of this castle without getting burned by the blessed silver. Beastboy was the last to speak on the subject, "you would be great at it bro." X continued his laughter until he noticed that they still haven't left and said," you guys are still here I thought I sent you guys to get me that coffin before I go psycho killer on your entire dimension go get it before I get hungry I've never killed anyone before and I won't start now."

* * *

later at the tower

* * *

"Okay guys lets get in and out as fast as we can to keep the christian king from killing anyone" the titans entered the room they temporarily gave the king to find a shocking discovery the entire room was filled with vegetation the floor was covered in grass the windows were all open and the plants were home to so many different animals such as dear, squirrels, butterflies, and cats the plants ranged from grass and flowers to trees and bushes "when did he have time to do this?" their leader said before actually looking for the coffin. "shouldn't we be looking for X's coffin?" Raven asked they were all so taken aback by his fondness for nature that they were oblivious to the fact that the coffin was in the exact middle of the room with a tree on each side bathed in a ray of sunlight in the single most visible place in the somewhat dark room as the sun set on that crimson horizon the room looked almost as if it were a forest trapped in technology and as the titans admired the beauty of the room X had changed Starfire looked to the center of the room and easily found what they were looking for. and she said" friends I have discovered the final resting place of the king." Raven looked to where Starfire was pointing and said, "how did we miss that it's right in the middle of everything." the titans each helped remove the coffin from betwixt the trees and carry the heavy wooden box

* * *

later at X's castle

* * *

"we brought you the coffin like you asked." just then Raven saw writing on the coffin that she could not see in the dim light of the sun as it set over the crimson horizon. "Hey what does it say on the lid of the coffin."

"Those are the Latin words for psalm 2:8"

"can you read it to us but in English so that we know what your saying none of us know the bible by heart?"

"Ask of me, and I shall give thee the heathen for thine inheritance, and for thy possession, the ends of the earth. Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron. Thou shalt dash them in pieces, like a potters vessel. Be wise now therefore, ye kings. Be admonished, ye judges of the earth. Serve the Lord with fear, and rejoice with trembling. Kiss the son lest he be angry, and you perish from the way, though his wrath is kindled but a little."

X then walker up to Victor and said," Victor Stone formerly known as cyborg I present you with my cross and with it control over my kingdom my servants and my money." X took the cross necklace off and put it on Victor as one would a metal the second he let go of the cross the suit he was wearing was on Victor and X was left wearing robes that an angel might have worn in a drawing or an old painting he than gave him the giant silver cross he carried with him everywhere and said, "this is now your cross to bear."he then proceeded to give him an instruction manual explaining how to work the cross before entering the coffin, and being locked inside by his servants who looked sad to see him gone. so the temporary king said, "why so sad he wasn't very nice to you." one of the androids said,"you don't understand we like working it makes us feel important like at least someone cared if we existed or not he would always be so understanding if we told him that we needed the day off and every Saturday we would watch hilarious comedy together. " so Victor looked down at the floor and thought that maybe X made them work so hard was because they wanted to do the workand as he looked down saddened by his sudden realization the androids offered him the food X was going to eat before he was unable to because of the ineffective cure he excepted their offer and ate the best sandwich he had ever tasted once he figured out that he could shape shift his mouth as an added feature to the kingdom and every thing else he had X's powers as well


	4. The Proposal

Chapter4 the proposal

a few weeks had passed the titans saw X as a strong and charismatic leader Cyborg was now a very religious person making sure Beastboy and Raven wouldn't Fuck until marriage the same for Star and Robin, Star sounded normal not like when she would struggle to understand what people were saying she still put in the occasional "the" where it was not needed but still spoke very well X was prepared to propose to Kitty with a gold ring covered in diamonds, emeralds, sapphires, and rubies

X: (on the phone with Robin) I'm coming over

Robin: when, why

X: (right next to him) now because I want everyone to come with me to a British restaurant

Robin: I'll have to check with

the former cyborg: (interrupting Robin) did someone say free food

Robin: I'll have to

Raven: (interrupting Robin) Beastboy get in here were invited to a British restaurant

Beastboy: awesome!

Robin: I'll

Star: (interrupting Robin) ooo a British restaurant what food do they serve there

Robin: well since everyone agrees

X: (interrupting Robin) they serve fancy food like lobster steak and filet mignon

Star: I would like to go

X: I'm taking you to the fanciest English-speaking restaurant in the world I just wish you guys could be fancy

the former cyborg: so grant your own wish

X: what do you think I was doing come on let's get to the colossal floating jet in the sky

Robin: what jet

X: the one casting a shadow on titans tower

Robin: (looks outside) how the fuck is that floating

X: who cares let's go

Robin: aren't we under dressed

X: I have extra suits and dresses in the

limo

Robin: limo?

Raven: dresses?

Star: extra dresses?

X: let's go I'll explain everything on the way there

X led the titans up the invisible stairs to the plane when they were aboard X led them to a yacht took them inside the small jet onboard the boat and to the limo inside that

Robin, Raven ,Star: (in perfect unison) oh

X: hi kitty our guests have arrived

Kitty: shall we get them there clothes

X: I think we should

X led the guys to changing rooms on one side of the boat while Kitty led the girls to the rooms on the other side X taught the guys how to tie their ties and Kitty taught the girls how to tie their hair in a pretty ribbon. She also helped the girls do their makeup. when the team met up in the limo again they barely recognized each other Beastboy and Robin standing mouths wide open and stared at their girlfriends the former cyborg closed their mouths and opened his

the former cyborg: so why is there a limo in a jet on a boat in a bigger boat

X: I like to make an entrance

the former cyborg: attention hog

X: you do realize that each individual country still doesn't know that I am king right

the former cyborg: why, why not just let everyone know

X: I just never wanted fame and I'm putting off everyone's knowledge until it's necessary for me to tell, I'm going to go pilot this plane bye

X left and returned in seconds

X: we have arrived prepare to make an entrance

the yacht fell from the plane into the Atlantic ocean then the small plane took off from the boat landed on the dock and a limo drove out and up to the restaurant the friends exited the vehicle greeted by a suited man

greeter: what an amazing entrance

X: thanks here's a tip (hands him a bar of gold)

greeter: with this much money I could quit and have an early retirement

X: or you could keep working here and hope that I come back with a better entrance

Robin: this is a restaurant it looks like a ball room

X: and it is it's both

the friends enter X had explained everything before they came they were all seated together at a large table in the center of everything X ordered for the table remembering that Beastboy is a vegetarian during their lovely fancy dinner the conversation shifted from BB being a vegetarian to X's and Kitty's relationship

Waiter: your wine Mr circle with an x through it

X: it's pronounced X but thank you anyway

Kitty: you got my favorite wine

X: you know what else I got you

Kitty: what's that (X gets down on one knee) oh

X: Kitty will you

Kitty: yes! yes! finally yes!

Robin: congratulations are in order and your both under the drinking age

everyone in the room congratulates them as X slips the ring on her finger after their meal everyone except the former cyborg was enjoying slow dancing with their girls


	5. The Coffin part one

Chapter 5 The Coffin part one

After dinner, dancing, and drinking fine wine the 7 friends decided that it was time to leave and the titans wanted to see how the castle turned out. So the team began to argue about whether to go home or see X's new said, " I don't think you should fly us home your drunk!"

"oh please, I was drunk when I flew us here"

"you put our lives in danger!"

"no if I had'n been drunk we would have crashed i don't know how to fly sober... that is unless I'm flying using my wings"

" have you gone completely insane"

" would you rather pilot this enormous indestructible jet capable of light speed while all the passengers remain completely oblivious to their speed where only a person with a brain working slower than normal can see out the window and actually know where they are"

"wait that makes no sense"

"it's the logic of a drunk, don't over think it"

X, trying to end the argument, said " you guys have two choices you can see my new home or I'll drive back to your home" Robin replied " does that mean you won't fly us to your house"

" I never said that"

" But your drunk"

"I was drunk on the way here"

Srarfire quickly tried to maintain peace by saying, "Wasn't your house on the north pole? If so I would very much like to see if Santa is there." Robin quickly said, "I hate to tell you this Star but Santa doesn't exist" X shook Robin and said, "are you mad!? Santa does exist and I know because I met him" Robin struggled to release the king's grip and said, "let go of me you dam drunk!" Srarfire quickly helped Robin escape the king's clutches "friends please stop fighting do you wish to cause damage to one another!" Beastboy, trying to solve the problem, yelled "let's just have a vote." and the vote did solve their problem so on their way to the castle they went.

"Here we are welcome to my multitrilion dollar home" X said as he walked down the velvet floor to sit on his throne. Kitty stood by her fiance and said, " that was a great date would you like to get some coffee"

"Yeah and while you're in the kitchen can you get me a sandwich "

" no that's not what I..."

" I know what you meant I was being sarcastic," the future queen stormed of up the seemingly endless stairs to the room at the top of the castle before slamming the door and yelling "make your own dam sandwich! ASSHOLE!" X looked up before taking of his hat shades and bandana revealing red eyes sharp teeth and long hair. The king once again injected himself with the green substance he continues to use. The titans saw an immediate change his eyes turned from a bright crimson to a dark brown one shade away from black as his teeth turned back to normal he tied his bandana around his top hat like the ribbon previously visible before putting his shades on the hat and tossing it across the room and onto the hat rack before slumping in his chair. Robin was the first to speak "so... I just noticed that most of your androids are girls" X looked up and smiled knowing his friend was trying to brighten his mood " oh yeah there are certain tasks that girls are best at and that list far out weighs the list for men" Robin quickly stopped smiling and tried to restart their argument from before "name one thing girls can do better than boys!" X responded but not with words rather with a demonstration. He clapped his hands and lifted his feet off the ground just then one of his robotic servants jumped on the floor in front of him and acted like a foot rest should just then two more came one with a soda the other with a sandwich . X quickly turned his attention to the one with the sandwich and threw her an angry look before two more came one put a knife in his sandwich earning a pat on the head before the other one place a remote in his hand. X turned to Robin and said "need to say any more?" Robin stared at him disapproving of his methods "that's sexist! And what's the remote for anyway." X pointed behind them to the seventy inch plasma widescreen t.v. behind them. Just then one of the androids saw his eyes gradually change color and took his reflective shades showed him the change before X allowed her to put his shades on his face just then Robin asked, "hey is the t.v. three d?" Immediately the androids took the stuff they brought off the king's armrests before the one under his feet rolled away and the furious X slammed his hands on his armrests hard enough to slightly bend the metal and break the floor with his feet before yelling "no! That's a stupid fucking gimmick and everyone knows it!" Robin saw his fury and began to apologize " ok, ok, I'm sorry. Don't bite my head off! Dam!" The king calmed down and the androids returned things to how they were before his little outburst. And X turned on his t.v. opened up his laptop and made the t.v. start playing Hellsing ultimate abridged causing Raven to question him " why did they give you the remote if you were going to use your laptop to control your t.v."

" because I can't turn it on from my laptop"

"Then why didn't you just tell one of them to fly up to the t.v. and turn it on manually"

"They already broke my ninety inch t.v. doing that"

"Will anyone ever win an argument with you"

"Doubt it"

Just then X came to a sudden realization. "Who messed with my vampire cure?" Robin realized then that X didn't have a drug problem and when he replaced X's cure with water and green food coloring he had not done right so he confessed. "I did." X snapped his fingers and a group of scientists came through the doors to the basement laboratory "Robin tell my scientists what you did with there three hundred years of work." Robin looked down very ashamed of his actions what had been a happy surprise had turned into a huge disaster. "i replaced it with green water because I thought it was drugs." the scientists started yelling angrily in German complaining to their king and yelling at Robin. X got up out of his chair and walked up to the scientists who bowed respectfully awaiting commands. "the past is behind us all that matters now is that i get a cure in me now!" quickly the scientists ran down to their lab and got the king his cure wile Robin started asking questions. " so your a vampire?"

" if it had been my decision I would have stayed mortal had i known what would happen that night I wouldn't have excepted my friends offer." Beastboy spoke up for one question " can't you just wish to be human again?"

" if only an eternal curse could be lifted with such an easy action. Oh before I forget I left something of mine in your home." Robin suddenly became curious "aren't you rich can't you buy another of what you left"

"the materials used to make what I left do not exist in this universe i would have to travel through the multiverse back to my dimension on the other side of the fourth wall to gather the materials to make another."

"Fourth wall? Like in a play or t.v. show?"

"Yes in my home all we do all day is watch tv to see which universe I should go to so far yours was the only one to make the cut"

" you believe the multiverse theory."

" I'm a christian I only believe scientifically possible things." Raven was confused by his statement and wanted to know more. " Really."

" Yea. Really, your half demon your living proof of my religion."

" I still don't get how my existence makes your religion scientifically possible."

" I wish the Mormon slayer was here but she would never come cause she's dead it's been three hundred years since I've seen her out smart Harvard evolutionary scientists with her constant facts disproving the theory of evolution without effort."

" but aren't Mormons Christians too."

" Mormons disobeyed Revelations by adding a new new testament to the bible I don't consider them Christians."

" who is the Mormon slayer anyway?"

" My sister! she died about three hundred years ago in the church i built."

" I'm sorry for your loss."

" Oh it's o.k. you weren't directly responsible were you?" Robin just remembered what X was telling them before, " what do you need us to bring you from our place?"

" A coffin."


	6. The Coffin part two

Chapter 6 the coffin part two

Robin looked at the king confused by his statement, "A coffin? Really!? Why a coffin? Why can't you get it? Why send us?" X whilst watching the hilarious parody laughed at the T.V. and answered his question. "I'm sending you because I have work to do, such as replacing the cure for vampirism you foolishly disposed of."

"But why a coffin?"

"because you got rid of my cure I need to sleep in a coffin that's bound by chains so that I don't devour each and every one of you. When the time comes for the cure to be administered my androids will do it so that nobody gets hurt or killed."

"So we don't have a choice, but wait why can't you build another?"

"It took me fifty years to find the parts of the coffin necessary so that it would be airtight, indestructible, and keep me from teleporting out. Nothing goes in or out without this key." X held up his cross necklace and showed them that the design on the silver cross was unlike any other. "Oh and in my absence I need someone to keep the world from falling into anarchy and sign off any legal documents that have new laws that came from the bible with reference to the exact book, chapter, and verse written as a way of checking, and make sure to check my bible because I translated it myself directly from the language it was written in to Latin. Everyone in my staff can read Latin and they've all been issued a copy. Those are the job requirements anyone up for the challenge of being me for a day." Everyone looked at Victor as if he was most qualified so he said, "what are you all looking at me for." Robin was the first to answer "you are the Christian here and if you don't speak Latin you can probably ask one of the androids to read his bible to you" Starfire continued his statement, "We think you would have the easiest of times understanding such an old book" Raven made her case. "I can't touch the walls or floors of this castle without getting burned by the blessed silver. Beastboy was the last to speak on the subject, "you would be great at it bro." X continued his laughter until he noticed that they still haven't left and said," you guys are still here I thought I sent you guys to get me that coffin before I go psycho killer on your entire dimension go get it before I get hungry I've never killed anyone before and I won't start now."

* * *

later at the tower

* * *

"Okay guys lets get in and out as fast as we can to keep the christian king from killing anyone" the titans entered the room they temporarily gave the king to find a shocking discovery the entire room was filled with vegetation the floor was covered in grass the windows were all open and the plants were home to so many different animals such as dear, squirrels, butterflies, and cats the plants ranged from grass and flowers to trees and bushes "when did he have time to do this?" their leader said before actually looking for the coffin. "shouldn't we be looking for X's coffin?" Raven asked they were all so taken aback by his fondness for nature that they were oblivious to the fact that the coffin was in the exact middle of the room with a tree on each side bathed in a ray of sunlight in the single most visible place in the somewhat dark room as the sun set on that crimson horizon the room looked almost as if it were a forest trapped in technology and as the titans admired the beauty of the room X had changed Starfire looked to the center of the room and easily found what they were looking for. and she said" friends I have discovered the final resting place of the king." Raven looked to where Starfire was pointing and said, "how did we miss that it's right in the middle of everything." the titans each helped remove the coffin from betwixt the trees and carry the heavy wooden box

* * *

later at X's castle

* * *

"we brought you the coffin like you asked." just then Raven saw writing on the coffin that she could not see in the dim light of the sun as it set over the crimson horizon. "Hey what does it say on the lid of the coffin."

"Those are the Latin words for psalm 2:8"

"can you read it to us but in English so that we know what your saying none of us know the bible by heart?"

"Ask of me, and I shall give thee the heathen for thine inheritance, and for thy possession, the ends of the earth. Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron. Thou shalt dash them in pieces, like a potters vessel. Be wise now therefore, ye kings. Be admonished, ye judges of the earth. Serve the Lord with fear, and rejoice with trembling. Kiss the son lest he be angry, and you perish from the way, though his wrath is kindled but a little."

X then walker up to Victor and said," Victor Stone formerly known as cyborg I present you with my cross and with it control over my kingdom my servants and my money." X took the cross necklace off and put it on Victor as one would a metal the second he let go of the cross the suit he was wearing was on Victor and X was left wearing robes that an angel might have worn in a drawing or an old painting he than gave him the giant silver cross he carried with him everywhere and said, "this is now your cross to bear."he then proceeded to give him an instruction manual explaining how to work the cross before entering the coffin, and being locked inside by his servants who looked sad to see him gone. so the temporary king said, "why so sad he wasn't very nice to you." one of the androids said,"you don't understand we like working it makes us feel important like at least someone cared if we existed or not he would always be so understanding if we told him that we needed the day off and every Saturday we would watch hilarious comedy together. " so Victor looked down at the floor and thought that maybe X made them work so hard was because they wanted to do the workand as he looked down saddened by his sudden realization the androids offered him the food X was going to eat before he was unable to because of the ineffective cure he excepted their offer and ate the best sandwich he had ever tasted once he figured out that he could shape shift his mouth as an added feature to the kingdom and every thing else he had X's powers as well


	7. King Victor Stone

Chapter 7 King Victor Stone

"Wait so all the time he's been mean to his androids it was because it is in their programming to take that no questions asked?" Robin questioned and Victor continued to eat the sandwich but still spoke, "This sandwich is so good!"

"Don't talk with your mouth full."

"You can't tell me what to do I'm the temporary king of the world" one of the androids interrupted their argument before it got out of hand, "sir you do realize that there are three other monarchs who rule the world along side you don't you? They all have just as much power as you do!"

"No I thought that since X bought all the countries he would be the only ruler." The android walked up to him and slapped him so hard that he flew off the throne onto the floor breaking several bones and making him drop his sandwich and the only words out of his mouth before the android spoke were, "Aw man! You made me drop my sandwich."

"You do not make assumptions our king is not greedy he just wanted to live in a house with easy work that could be done easily by any high ranking Protestant Christian with scientists working hard to help him not be a vampire any more. They recently upgraded his condition to only half vampire now they need to go gather the ingredients to make another cure quickly to change his body back to that of a mortal. He left his friends all of his money and all his stuff, in his will, I don't think after an assumption like that he'll let you be on that list." Robin saw that the situation was bad and said, "OK we're going back to the tower to admire X's room you coming Victor?" Victor got up off the floor as his bones went back into place and said, "sure that room looks so cool!" the only two male androids in the castle walked up to Victor and said, "you have been put in charge of this castle and there is much work to be done."

"What work this is the first time X and me have spoken to each other in weeks and he wasn't doing any work he never did any thing around the tower except that one time he made us diner."

"That may be true but that was before this castle was made. Look at his coat of arms." the titans looked at the flag in the back of the flag on the back of the room and saw that on one side there was a castle's tower and on the other a fruit tree with a serpent wrapping it self around the roots of the tree which did not seem to be in the ground but rather floating in mid air. and Victor became puzzled and in his confusion he asked, "What the hell does that have to do with what I just said."

"Nothing I just wanted to see if you were paying attention. Now the king you are currently a substitute for usually spends his time doing martial arts and signing papers. He pastors the church you are currently standing in"

"Wait you mean this whole castle is a church!?"

"Correct. this building is also home to a senior center, a homeless shelter, an orphanage, and an animal shelter."

"Really? what's next a portal to Jupiter!?" The two androids turned to each other and whispered, "He knows."

"Are you trying to be funny because it's not working!"

"We don't joke about unfunny subjects."

"Oh yea. where is the portal to Jupiter?"

"It's under the throne."

"Really so if I push the throne it will move to a ninety degree and reveal a portal to Jupiter." as he was making his sarcastic comment he did what he said causing the throne to reveal a portal to a laboratory on Jupiter. and the android said, "If you enter your body will weigh 317.8 times as much as you do here and most likely get flung back through the portal here that is if you're not crushed by the gravity on entry."

"I have X's powers now if he can take the gravity so can I."

"You don't have X's wings only he has wings the only person in this universe with such beautiful real wings."

"Those wings aren't real he can shape shift."

"He maintained his wings when he gave he is powers to you, which he did as a way of keeping everyone safe."

"So those wings were real? Is he an angel?"

"HA! no he asked the lord for wings and when he got them he used them as a way of proving to his church that prayer works and as proof to the heathens that his religion is the one true religion tho there are those who think he used the magic he hates so much to get those wings." As the android was explaining this the titans snuck out of the castle thinking that if they didn't go home soon they would miss the sunrise, all except for Victor poor poor Victor.


	8. X's dreams

AN: many will be offended in this chapter! I guarantee it

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Chapter 8 X's dreams

After X gave Victor his powers he was laid to rest in his coffin. while there he went to the dream he has after he watches Uncle Grandpa. in the weird land things were oddly normal which was very abnormal in this particular dream. X was walking around uninterrupted which was weird because normally he was unable to walk without someone telling him he was odd or some variation of odd everyone else was also walking normally so X was trying to seek wisdom from the wisest person around, MasakoX, so he walked up to him and said, "What's going on around here? Am I where I think I am? What is wrong with everyone today, they're all acting not weird!" Masako looked at X and said, "Why it's simple! X it's opposite day " X would have been thrilled if not for one fact. "You mean to tell me that I'm not in power; your not famous on the internet, everyone i don't care about,excluding me and the rest of four teens entertainment, is; and Team four star rules the world!"

"yes."

**"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"**

"IT'S JUST FOR TODAY GEESE!"

_**"WHY COULDN'T IT BE BURRITO TUESDAY! WHY OPPOSITE DAY WHY NOW!?"**_

"CALM DOWN EVERYTHING WILL BE BACK TO NORMAL TOMORROW!"

"wait what day is it and i don't mean opposite day which for some reason is a national holiday here in crazy town"

"Actually it's Nutsvile we changed it since last you visited"

"Ok, Ok, OK, Ok, but what day is it super sunday; moronic monday; Burrito tuesday; Weird wednesday; thrilling thursday; freaky freaky Friday from outer space; or silly Saturday? Come on Masako you always know what day it is."

"But it's opposite day."

"Oh fucking shit this is just fan-fucking-tastic where could I find a complete idiot right now... wait Masako quick do the Goku voice and then tell me what day it is."

"Ok (clears throat) it's Freaky freaky Friday from outer space" just then X awoke, and remembered where he was. X started listening to what was happening outside with his telepathy seeing as the coffin was airtight it was also sound proof and telepathy was the only way to hear them. X heard bad decisions being made and decided to separate his body from his soul as he did so his body became like a fierce creature trying to escape his cage. His soul left the box and walked over to the throne and said, "NO! Don't sign that!" Just then Victor turned around and saw the disembodied man and said, "oh shit! How the fuck did you get out of your coffin. I thought it was impossible to get out of that box without the key you gave me."

"I'm still in the box just not entirely." Just then the box started jumping and muffled screams could be heard from within. Victor ask, "Shit what the fucking hell are you!?"

"Technically I'm a ghost though I'm still alive."

"Then why can I see and hear you"

"Everyone can see ghost but a ghost can choose to hide and not all people turn into ghosts you know like in that movie where the comatose woman was a ghost and she couldn't understand why though in that movie nobody could see her save that one guy and the little girl."

"Ok... but why can't I sigh this law to make it official?"

"Read it"

"I have read it. It allows gay marriage"

"Exactly!"

"I have nothing against them"

"Your job is not to make decisions based on opinion it's to make decisions based on the bible"

"What's the bible got to do with this?"

"EVERYTHING!"

"What!?"

"You can't sign that!"

"Why not?"

"read 1st Corinthians character 6 verse 9-11"

"Let's make the Android do it I can't read Latin" the Android with the bible walked up to the throne and read to the replacement but not before getting in one sarcastic comment, "fine! An putas, quia non est iustus non possidebunt regnum Dei?-"

"No I mean in English!"

"Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the spirit of God." Victor, having just remembered a crucial detail,turned to X and said, "wait didn't you say you wrote this bible?"

"No I said I directly translated it from Hebrew, Greek, and the other language the bible was written in I forgot what it's called but I know it starts with an a (quietly) probably."

"What do you mean 'probably'"

"I mean I'm unsure of the spelling of the name of the last language I spoke of."

"No I think you were unsure about wether or not you translated it right some bibles don't have homosexuals in the list of people who won't inherit the kingdom of God"

"That's because some people are afraid of offending heathens I honestly don't care."

"But people will judge you."

" I'm more concerned with God judging me imagine standing before the throne and saying ' I'm sorry for editing your book I didn't want to make the people who already weren't going to heaven feel bad.' What a sad excuse; what you don't know can hurt you."

"That last part what was that about"

"You mean 'what you don't know can hurt you' it's a reference to a pastor who was referencing a farmer insurance commercial."

"So that was unoriginal"

"Just get the stamp that says veto and use it!"

"But it's wrong that they don't get rights."

"Oh if only my sister was here she could tell you the exact bible verse that opposes that statement."

"That's a thing?"

"Yea. It says that they can have rights they just can't marry or date or fuck."

"Where?"

"I don't know somewhere in Proverbs"

"Where in Proverbs?"

"If my sister were alive she could tell you but she's not" suddenly Raven came into the castle through a purple portal and said, "quick I need to borrow the vampire!"

"I am he, who you are after, what noble task have you for me?"

"I need you to-" suddenly she noticed that the tv was showing an apocalyptic world in which the man in the box was ripping people limb from limb and drinking their blood as the undead men he left behind walked toward him angry and trying to get back their blood as he drew his sword and fought back against the death he caused. When Raven said, "what the crap are you watching!?" The king's spirit and his replacement saw the tv and Victor said, "Oh that. The androids wanted to see what you were dreaming about so they hooked up your coffin with the tv."

"Ah! just like them to worry about me when they know I'm in the safest place ever." Raven spoke once more, " yea yea ok ok, why are you dreaming about that!?"

"Well I'm a disembodied soul and my body, through the body of a pastor, is still a vampiric body and is crying out for blood!?"

"So your body is evil but your soul is not?"

"Yea your getting it all people are inherently evil but through the Lord we can learn to be good."

"So will you come with me your task is to kill the demon I accidentally summoned to this dimension"

"I would but my body would try to defy me and drink blood. That dream is a vision of what is to come should you release me without a cure at the ready" just then the German scientists were knocking on the bottom of the throne. Victor, confused, felt the vibrations and said, "what the hell was that"

"Didn't my androids explain the Jupiter portal thing under my throne"

"Yea while we watched you dream she explained it but I wasn't listening. I was laughing at you."

"Get off my throne. And lift it up."

"Ok" as he lifted the throne so the back lay on the velvet floor a scientist flew through the portal up to the top of the stairway that Victor was completely oblivious to until now. As he came back down kitty looked down from the top of the stairs. X's spirit returned to his coffin and the coffin that had been violently shaking was now calm and collected.


	9. Waking the king

Chapter 9 Waking the king

The androids that had been talking about weaponry upgrades and improvements, they could make, were now flying up to catch the scientist before he came crashing down head first and producing an "enormous cleaning bill" as they, the androids, say. Soon after the rest of the scientists came carefully through the portal as to not repeat their friend's blunder. After having seen the scientists come up out of the portal Kitty jumped down directly to the throne and landed on her feet before turning back into a person. The scientists spoke in whispers to the androids and then the Android translated his words to Raven and Victor, Kitty didn't need a transition, and said, "the scientists have created the cure to vampirism or whatever it's called, and they were able to synthesize the serum on Jupiter. They have the cure and would like to set their employer free." Victor gave the key to the Android and retreated to a safe distance before they opened the coffin, so too did Kitty and Raven, and the scientists weren't far behind. The only two male androids in the tower walked slowly up to the coffin cure in hand ready for the return of their king. The androids with the cure stood silently by the one with the key. The first to move after arriving at the coffin's side raised his arm ready to plunge the syringe into the kings chest the other saw and opened the coffin. As the lid unlocked a white steam like gust came from within the lid moved away which sounded as a sliding glass door would. They saw their sleeping king and the sight of his pale face with teeth shown sent shivers down their spines as they saw that if they fail to cure him before he wakes this terrifying sight would become a horrific event. Suddenly the android's hand flew through the air guiding the needle through his chest into his heart before forcing the cure through the king woke suddenly and said one horrifying word before the cure took affect, "HUNGRY!" One of the other androids standing idle by quickly went into motion saying, " right away sir I'll inform the chef of your sudden return to the land of the living." The king wobbled to his throne and plopped down in his usual velvet seat hand covering his eyes as those around him saw his teeth and hair return to normal, the long sharp teeth reverted back to the pearly whites he had before and his frizzy out of control hair went back to being the long smooth hair it was before. He removed his hand and said, "can I have my cross necklace back I'm tired of looking like pit from smash bros!" The Android rushed up to him and returned what he asked for and the clothes Victor wore the abilities he adopted and the cross he carried went back to X as soon as the pendant touched his neck. After his clothes were back he took of his hat glasses and bandana gave two of the items to his androids then folded the latter and placed it, as decoration, in his Brest pocket. He placed a crown, that no one had seen before, on his head when who should enter but the Android with food, "here you are sir your food and drink."

"Ooo sushi and wasabi, and you brought me my favorite soda what a nice gesture. Your getting a promotion." The king took a long drink from his new wine bottle and left it half full. His fiancee walked up to him and said, "uh we really need to plan our...(she sees Raven) why is she in our house?"

"I don't know something about her dad coming to town"

"Aw shit she wants you to meet her parents!"

"I guess so." Raven began speaking, "hey I don't like him I asked him to put him in his place."

"Really when?"

"When he was a soul talking to Victor"

"What's she talking about" X returns to the conversation with, " I got bored of doing nothing and I heard bad decisions being made so I came out to warn my replacement, which reminds me (to the androids) BRING FORTH THE STAMP!" two androids burst through the door one with the stamp and the other with ink. They presented him with both and gave him a stack of paperwork. The three there left and returned in three hours after getting bored with playing with reindeer in the snow. They walked up to the king who had just stamped the last legal document he denied. He looked up from his paperwork and said, "Good news! The scientists collected the items we came to this universe for." Raven said, "what!? You found what you're looking for!? What were you looking for!?"

"These (he pulls a halo from a Brown bag) these halos are very important"

"Oh I get it an angel looking for halos"

"I'm not an angel. In my universe wings are a sign of loyalty and faith to one religion an unbreakable trust between him and his religion to show the entire world living proof of Christianity."

"So why do you need the halos?"

"I'll show you" he placed his fingers evenly around the gold ring and applied pressure on all sides causing it to collapse in on itself and somehow turn into a crystal ball. He threw the newly formed orb at Raven. It went straight through her, and went back to his hand. X then proceeded to talk to the ball, "dorr you understand now?" Raven, furious, yelled, "WHAT DID YOU DO WHY ARE YOU SO BIG!? WHY AM I SO SMALL!? AM I IN YOUR HAND!? PUT ME BACK!"

"Fine but your the one who asked." He threw the ball back at what was left of Raven, again the ball went straight through and returned to his hand but this time instead of making Raven unresponsive it gave her her soul back. He then placed his thumb and middle finger on opposite sides of the ball and crushed it back into the halo it was before. X spoke once more, " we must bid you adieu." Kitty responded with, "so we're going home."

"Yes!"

"What about all the stuff your leaving here?"

"Oh right (to the titans that were present) your still here? Well you get to help me pack. I'm going to your house to take my environment creating microchip back from your house and the coffin bellow that." Raven was confused, "didn't we get your coffin back?" Raven asked, "why do you need two?"

"One's for sleeping and the other is for when I want to kill everything and everyone, it keeps me from killing because no matter what my body wants at the time I refuse to lay a hand on any who have done nothing wrong."

" what if a demon came to talk to you?"

"I would kill it."

"What if it had done nothing wrong?"

"Demons are evil incarnations of those who deserve divine punishment."

"What if it were your son?"

"He's immortal by choice he'll out live me."

"What if he doesn't?"

"If it's and but where candy and nuts we'd all have a jolly Christmas."

"What?"

"It's a king of the hill reference"

"Again! what?"

"Right you come from the dimension that's being watched not the one that watches. I'm going home so I can yell at my subordinates and watch you on t.v." somehow Masako appeared out of nowhere and the background changed to him sitting in a chair in front of a computer reading this story when he said, "and so after five hours of packing and three chapterchapters of explaining the king was prepared to leave and handed over control of the world over to the justice Lords and you know the rest. The end!" Suddenly X walked through the wall behind him and said, "Masako what the hell are you doing in my reality"

"I'm the narrator!"

"Yea but you can't end the story there!

"Sorry I'm not writing the story your son Richard is"

I wonder if the anime I'm writing about home is influencing his life as much as this story is influencing mine."

"Toodle pip!"

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That marks the end of my first story to all those who made it thus far thanks for reading and please follow/favorite and review till next time Auf Wiedersehen


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